There is no turning back..and let it be..

Last night, i was randomly viewing my friend's video until i saw this phrase.



"Life is full of choices, have u made the right one ?"



Its like somebody sending msg to me remind about my decision. GOD maybe. I used to think about my future..my dream.. but now ..no more for that. i could clearly seen my future..since i choose to continue my studies.

My study now becomes my debt and after i have to pay for it by working for others. Somebody borrowed me and i will have to pay it in return by working for him. At the same time, i will have to pay back but it takes time to clear it.. how long does it take ? I DO REALLY HAVE NO IDEA.

Somebody ever told me "steve..you are very good cause at least u will finish ur degree one day.. " You are probably right, im good..im safe.. im secure.. but am i success?

I didnt feel proud or even happy after listening..cause i know what its happening soon..

I have to pay back all these after finish my degree. even holds the responsiblities to take care of my parents. OH.DO I MANAGE TO ? I have been thinking this matter for past 5 months. Sometimes.. i dont dare to think about it. to avoid thinking about that, i try to do something to blind myself instead..having entertaintment.. clubbing.. drinking beers..tiring myself and doing so much things..as long as allow me from stop thinking..

Since the sch started.. i have been always thinking to stop my studies. Then to do my careers and to do what i had early planned.Rmb when i was 19, i re-exam my O-level(SPM) to qualified my self to enter college.Finally i qualified and even finished my diploma.afterthat go for my job. This what ive been planning.. and i could maybe help my parents in their business and seek for others job.

Now.. LOOKING BACK I wasted so much efforts.. experienced so much.. and end up working for a company with so so salary still have to pay the debt. Seriously I didnt feel like further my studies and its because of my parents.. they want their son graduated at least degree level and have faces to talk in front their friends and relatives.

Until today this hour and minute and second. I still couldnt pay attention on my subject.
yeah.. maybe is im doing what im not willing to do..

anyhow..my destiny i have to move on.. and try to take it serious.

Well..I am trying..




ALL THE BEST STEVY!